RaeAnne's first visit to the library

RaeAnne poo poo last night at 2:30am, Mummy was trying to feed her water and didn't realise. Had to get Daddy's help to clean her up as she will cry and grab her bottom. By the time, we finished changing her diaper and I managed to make her sleep again, it was 3am. Had to let her roll all over me and poke my belly button. Don't know why she developed this strange habit since I stopped nursing her. Maybe, she craves the skin to skin contact?

She woke up very early at 7:15am (maybe hungry?) and pooped again at 8+am. It was the wet and mushy type of poo and she dirtied her fingers and romper. Mummy was feeling tired and frustrated so put her at ILs place early today.

But after washing her romper and some lunch, Mummy had a bit of a breather and decided to bring RaeAnne to the library today. Used the baby bjorn carrier and took the bus to go to interchange then walk to Tampines Regional Library. 4pm was good timing, she's woken up from her nap and had her milk. She was curious about the place but didn't really like to flip the books, only likes to move them from one shelf to another. She got bored before 530pm, barely an hour. Faint! Luckily Daddy came to pick us up, so we came back in time for her dinner.

But around evening time, we realised that she was running a low grade fever 37.8 at one ear and 38 at the other ear, don't know if it's because of chicken pox vaccination or because she's teething, keep running her tongue over her teeth. Cry until so 'kelian' when we were trying to make her sleep tonight though it's her usual bedtime. Poor darling, hope the fever subsides tomorrow. :P

More photos of JWT

Decided to include some more photos of the JWT party taken by bkkgal's hubby using a DSLR. The photos look great. See the difference especially the parachute photo. I'm impressed because the parachute is spinning, all the babies are moving YET the photo is so sharp. Can even see RaeAnne trying to crawl towards Mummy. :)

RaeAnne's 13 months old

RaeAnne is 13 months old today. She is 8.9kg when Mummy weighed her at home. We spent the morning at JWT Gym at UE Square, a Feb08Mummies party. It was a mad rush to get there as the party starts at 10am and we need to wait for RaeAnne to wake up, defrost the meat, fish, while Mummy cook porridge, Daddy fed her cereals, bathed and changed her. Then it was Mummy and Daddy's turn to wash up and we left the house close to 9.5dam with no time for breakfast. Daddy took the wrong exit out of CTE and we had to backtrack from Outram making a few wrong turns along the way, Mummy chose the wrong lift (meant for serviced apartments only) instead of to UE shopping mall.

Finally, reached JWT at 10.30am and the party was already underway. The instructor were teaching us how to hold the baby upside down, help them to somersault etc. RaeAnne did not enjoy the parachute game, she and another little boy were the only ones who cried. But maybe it was because she didn't get a chance to warm up. She did enjoy the swing set up by the instructor though, to our surprise, Daddy thought she will definitely cry. But as you can see from the video, she didn't, Atta Girl! :)


Mummy and Daddy had to grab breakfast/lunch there while trying to feed RaeAnne her porridge. We did not have time to eat the cake as they were already clearing up for the next party. Mummy forgot to bring hot water and had to 'borrow' from 2 mummies because the porridge is too thick and sticky after sitting in the Thermos pot for 2 hours. Next time, must remember. :P

Overall, it was fun for RaeAnne to get a chance to try out the different gym equipment and expose to such trials. Mummy feels that we have not been doing much to stimulate RaeAnne's physical/social/mental development besides bringing her to park, watching tv, and reading books. Took many photos at JWT but only a few photos were sharp, the rest were all blur. Mummy's tempted to get a second hand DSLR because the photos taken are really superior but really need to practise and get the most out of it. Must thank Apple, one of the Feb mummies helped us to take this family photo. :)

RaeAnne was very grouchy in the car on our way back when I strapped her into the car seat. Maybe it's because it's her nap time, she cried all the way and Mummy was very short tempered when Daddy didn't know the way back. He started down River Valley road, then made a U turn and ended up passing by Bugis to take ECP, KPE then PIE back to Tampines though we went to UE Square using PIE, CTE. I think Daddy's stand is that we'll find a way home, it's just a matter of figuring out and taking a few more turns or U turns. But Mummy hates to be lost and waste time on the road. Previously, Mummy will be the vehicle commander and help 'topo' with the help of a street directory but after RaeAnne is born, Mummy has been sitting at the back entertaining her. Plus with a baby who does not enjoy car rides, Mummy feels that we should always plot the shortest and fastest route home. Do thorough research beforehand using streetdirectory.com which gives a step by step route or ask someone if not sure. I guess that's the difference between men and women. :P Told Daddy next time, let's just take a cab. Definitely, to and fro taxi fare will cost more than petrol but it will make Mummy happy because taxi drivers always know the way and Daddy will not need to put up with Mummy's grumpiness and RaeAnne's cries and screams.

Next week, I will be bringing RaeAnne to mygym open house, it's at Marine Parade but Daddy is not keen to join as he probably has tuition. Well, maybe it's better for all of us this way. No doubt it won't be family time anymore but at least Marine Parade is near, at least the cab fare won't cost so much. :P

Officially stopped BF

It's time to remove the BF ticker as I last latched RaeAnne on Wed night. I've resisted latching her these few nights even though she's still crying and pulling my shirt because if I'm half hearted about stopping, I'll have to put her through the rejection/withdrawal process again and again. Can't bear to prolong her suffering so 'chang tong bu ru duan tong'. But having said that, my heart still breaks a little everytime I hear her cry. :( I still have 2 bottles of EBM which I give her for afternoon naps so I'll still consider that I BF her until 13 months for easy calculation. :)

RaeAnne feeding people now

Today, I no longer feel engorged, think the medicine is finally working. Called KK to check about BF while on medication but they said there's not enough info but if I BF within 2 hours after taking the medicine, the amount in blood should not be a lot. Phew!

Being SAHM, my problem is meals cos I got no time to cook and eat cos me alone at home. So end up always got to pack RaeAnne off to Ils place so that I can get my lunch. If not, got to keep eating instant noodles or order fast food.

Today, RaeAnne took FM in bottle by me for the first time. Yeah, but still feel a bit emotional lar, like i short change her and force her to drink FM like that.

This morning, I gave her some bread and she tried to feed me cos she'll push my hand with food towards my mouth and smile when I eat, I 'gan dong' until want to cry lor. Haha. But I was not amused when she tried to mop the floor with the bread. :P

But end up she don't want to eat porridge cos she drank too much FM in order to sleep at 11+am. Tried feeding at 12:30pm, no luck. So I cook spagetti for myself with some pasta sauce and eat my lunch. Gave her a few strands of spagettie and let her have a few bites of my carrot slices which I mix into the sauce. Tried feeding her porridge again at 1:30pm still no luck. So, end up I brought her to ILs place cos her next nap will be 3+pm. Then came back to clean the floor and mop again, wash her poo stained pants then showered.

Actually I think working part time will be ideal so yesterday I went to the nearby primary school to register for relief teaching positions but the clerk very bo chap. Probably got a lot of applicants, probably no hope liao. But I don't mind, if don't have, then I'll continue to work towards being a full time SAHM lor. Hee. ;)

Tottering about

Today, RaeAnne took 3-4 steps towards me. A bit unsteady but she made it nonetheless. Must remember to standby the video cam and capture her walking moments. Today, she refused FM that I made again so got no choice but to bring her to ILs place around noon for her milk feed.

Smsed my cousin and she shared that her menses came back after she cut down supply by half for both no. 1 & no. 2 so I'm thinking of keeping the night feed since she's not ready to wean and we don't have any other way to make her sleep since she's reliant on latching or bottle feed to sleep, will probably be less traumatic for her than if I go cold turkey. Didn't realise that the medicine I took is not known if will leached into breastmilk so not advisable to BF. Oh dear, I BF RaeAnne for final feed yesterday and today. Hope it's ok. :(

Weaning part 3 and other updates

Today, took med given by dr, whole day never pump. Engorged and painful. But relented just now. She already took 150ml of formula milk before bedtime, 90ml fed by hubby earlier and last 60ml by me but cos she has some hives like red bumps on her thigh, she keeps scratching, crying and can't sleep. We already applied medicine and let her wear long pants but she keeps trying to pull up the pants to scratch. In the end, I latched her to let her sleep and stop her scratching.

Think as long as I'm slowly weaning off, my menses will sure to return. Trying to drop 4 pumps & 2 latches (my usual for weekdays) is too ambitious and tough for both RaeAnne and me. Anyway, experts say the last latch before bedtime and the first one in the morning is usually the last one to go because that's the ones babies are most attached to. :P



Whenever RaeAnne sees a piece of cloth, RaeAnne will start wiping the floor or her toys. She observed this from ILs and started to copy the behaviour since about 1 month ago. Today, I found her wiping her mouth, then hands and the toy she was holding when she noticed a piece of cloth on the Arms reach cosleeper which we had not dismantled. So cute and so domesticated. :) Got a bad side to her being so observant too, MIL brought her to the park for a stroll in the stroller and she noticed a dog walking everywhere and marking its territory by peeing. And she started to do the same on her own. We were both amused and horrified. Making a conscious effort to avoid letting her see dogs pee from now on. ;)

Yesterday, we brought her to Kiddy Palace to buy a pair of shoes. Finally, RaeAnne has a pair of squeaky sandals and she's starting to be able to take a few steps each time quite steadily liao. :)

Oh ya, almost forgot. Cooked ABC pasta for RaeAnne today, a recipe from Annabel Karmel shared by a Jan MTB. That was hubby and my lunch too but hubby said tomatoes taste not obvious enough. Next time must add more. RaeAnne only tried a bit as she was eating her porridge but she seems to like the ABC pasta without sauce. Forgot to take a photo.

First few tentative steps

Brought RaeAnne to the PD for her chickenpox jab today. Did ask PD if can take with MMR. She said can but she will have to be jabbed on both arms if that's the case. My gal cry when she go to the clinic, got bad memories of that place mah. How to jab twice in a sitting? So, let her jab chickenpox first but she said will need booster by 5 years old.

Oh ya, nearly forgot to post very important milestone. RaeAnne stood unsupported and took a few steps towards me when I was at ILs place this afternoon. Finally saw it for myself. :)

Weaning part 2 & RaeAnne's first time on magazine

Last night, RaeAnne slept at 11+pm until 7am at ILs place without waking up for milk. Think she bully Daddy & Mummy only. :P ILs are so supportive of me weaning RaeAnne off that they offer to take care of her tonight as well. But don't know whether to be happy or sad cos they weren't as supportive of me when I was BF her lor. But happy that at least RaeAnne won't be crying and pulling my shirt at night because I won't be able to reject her then hubby has to keep waking up to feed FM.

A few other BF mummies were sharing that they feel so sad that their BF career is coming to an end as supply drops. True true. I look at my faithful PIS advance on my bedside ledge and my pumping pal handsfree and I feel so sad. Had to disappear so that ILs can feed FM to her in the day and I feel so 'bu she de'. Reading the Gain IQ brochure about 'taurine being present naturally in breast milk' and I feel so guilty that I'm depriving her of brain food while buying something artificial that may not work as well. Still got a lot of milk and developing painful lumps so I had to handexpress quite a bit. Might as well not waste the milk so expressed into bottles.

With ILs looking after her at night, I can't even sneak in one last night feed, miss my bonding time with her. Just feeling sentimental trying to come to terms with my decision and dealing with the guilt. Sigh. :P

On a happier note, RaeAnne was finally selected to be featured in a magazine (albeit an online mag). Motherhood Monthly was supposed to be published in Jan 09 but got pushed back to Feb 09, if not, it would have made a beautiful Birthday present for her. See her photo at http://bluetoad.com/publication/?m=4318&l=1

Crying in sleep

Heard RaeAnne crying out again, just now also heard her cough once though she didn't cry. Finally went in to check. She's still in the same position that I left her. Asleep but crying, must be nightmare. Poor gal. Sayang sayang.